Caregiving as a senior? Five important ways you can help

The decision to become a caregiver for a loved one is not something to take lightly.  It can be stressful to manage all the new responsibilities when your loved one is diagnosed with a health condition or injury and they now need your support.

However, it can be a rewarding role, as you are helping to make your loved one’s life easier. You could be running errands for them, helping them with taking their medications, or driving them to various doctors’ appointments. Different days may bring about different responsibilities and occasional challenges, so it’s important for caregivers to be mentally strong to navigate it all.

Here are five ways you can be a helpful caregiver, as well as tips to take care of yourself along the way:

Communication Skills
As a senior caring for your loved one, it’s important to communicate clearly. You need to be able to explain things like information from doctors and medication directions. This is especially important if your loved one is bedridden.

Here’s a tip: Bring a notebook and pen to all appointments. That way, you can make sure you and your loved one’s questions get answered—just be sure to jot them down in the notebook when you think of them (before and during the appointment), so you don’t forget. You should also take notes during the appointment to help make things less overwhelming for your loved one. By taking notes, both of you can review them later at a slower pace, in the comfort of your loved one’s home.

It’s also key that you listen carefully and sympathetically to your loved one. This could help explain why they’re behaving a certain way, let you know if they’re feeling ill, or reveal if something else is going on. Then, you can address that issue appropriately.

Organization
Caregivers must be organized and have good time management skills to carry out their duties as best they can. Each day will likely bring a new need or responsibility with it.

Responsibilities could include driving your loved one to a checkup, accompanying them to physical therapy, or doing simple household chores. You might also have to help your loved one remember when to take their meds. This could mean that you’ll need to spend your weekends or personal time caring for your loved one. However, by being flexible and accommodating with your time, your loved one will feel supported and will know that you are there for them.

Keeping track of all these checkups, appointments, and medications can get confusing. Use a paper planner or calendar to stay organized or set alarms/reminders on your phone. And if other people are also helping to care for the same loved one, creating a shared calendar can help make sure that your loved one is being well taken care of, no matter who is helping them.

Dependability
Your loved one must be able to rely on you. This is especially important if your responsibilities include tasks like helping your loved one rise, wash, and get dressed, or helping them take their medications on time. If a caregiver is off schedule, it could be very disruptive to your loved one and their health.

However, this can be a demanding part of caregiving and there could be things that you physically can’t help your loved one with. In this case, it’s important to plan ahead. Consider opting for in-home care or hiring a nurse to support you in caring for your loved one. Do some research, talk to people who are a part of your loved one’s health care team, or ask friends and family for recommendations.

Patience
Try to imagine the world from the perspective of your loved one. Sometimes they may not be able to do “simple” tasks or may find that they can’t move around as easily as they used to. This may cause them to feel angry or frustrated. Caregivers will need to remain calm, even when a situation is difficult.

This can be a particularly stressful part of being a caregiver. However, it is a crucial one. To help yourself—so you can help your loved one to the best of your ability—find a few ways to stay cool and composed. Maybe that means just taking a moment every day to take a few deep, relaxing breaths. See the “Self-Care” section below for more ideas.

Be Present
As the saying goes, a little kindness goes a long way. Make sure you treat your loved one with dignity and respect at every stage. For some people, the caregiver might be the only person your loved one interacts with all day, so it’s important for you to focus on being in the moment and showing genuine interest when you’re caring for them. Simple things like asking your loved one about his or her day, or checking in to see if he or she would like something to eat can make a world of difference.

For the Caregiver: Self-Care
While it’s important to care for your loved one, don’t forget about your own well-being. You won’t be able to provide care unless you’re healthy and energized! Eat plenty of whole foods (like whole grains—think whole-grain cereal or bread—as well as beans, nuts, fruits, and vegetables), and get seven to nine hours of sleep each night. You can help manage your stress with mindful meditation or journaling.

Another great option? Sign up for a free SilverSneakers^® fitness class at your local gym and On-Demand video classes at home. To learn more, visit silversneakers.com or call 1-888-423-4632 (TTY: 711) Monday through Friday, 8 a.m. to 8 p.m. ET.

Feeling overwhelmed? Don’t hesitate to reach out for help from a friend or loved one, or join a caregiver support group. Try to give yourself a break every so often. Grab a coffee with friends, read a book, watch a movie, or take a nap. Your health is important, too.

Another self-care resource is Magellan’s On to Better Health self-assessment tool*, available in the Behavioral Health section of your member website when you log in to ibx.com/login. This assessment offers confidential online access to self-help tools and resources proven to help emotional health and wellness. The resources include screening software and a resource library. Learn more.

The Bottom Line
If you’re still worried about your ability to be a solid caregiver, don’t worry. There are resources available to help you improve your caregiving skills, and there are organizations you can reach out to for help with some of your responsibilities.

What’s most important, however, is that you’re a loving caregiver. Let the person you’re caring for know that you’re there not just to take care of them, but you’re also there to spend time with them and help them enjoy life. If the person you’re caring for is able, make a healthy meal together, go for a walk around the neighborhood, watch a new movie at the local theater, or check out a new restaurant together.

And, as for care, try your best to help them with whatever their needs are, but remember to ask for help when needed. Your loved one will appreciate and benefit from the support you can give them.

*Magellan Behavioral Health, Inc., an independent company, manages mental health and substance abuse benefits for most Independence Blue Cross members.

The SilverSneakers fitness program is provided by Tivity Health, Inc., an independent company. ©2020. All rights reserved. Always check with your doctor before beginning a new type of exercise.